I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
