whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
