spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Someone signed my nipple.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
