its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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