best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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