the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
