How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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