The maid of honor just puked.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
