can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
