guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
