Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
