So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
