You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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