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I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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