dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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