I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
