What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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