My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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