Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
