Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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