I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
