I cockslap morals
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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