3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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