STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
