butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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