I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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