Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he puts the penis in happiness.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
