another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
