Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
