If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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