he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
