If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
