he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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