so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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