i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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