You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
