I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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