You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
