You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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