Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
North Korea, Best Korea!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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