the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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