my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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