so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
