Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
