my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
