I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
