All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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