He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
