whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
