There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
