God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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