Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
