youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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