yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
