Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
