so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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