Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
