Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
