come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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