I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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