i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
