i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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