peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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