Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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